Bomb Princess

An idea I had for an Adventure Time-type princess character.

How to Spot a Bullshit Sob Story

Because bullshit stories aren’t just limited to grandma’s junk mail! Every day, dozens of people make up tales of personal glory in order to gain sympathy, get more upvotes, or just stroke their fragile egos. These stories are told everywhere, from Facebook to XBox Live to right here on Tumblr. Here are a few common traits of these stories to watch out for:

1: Typically revolves around a random, unnamed child: either a misbehaving one that get their comeuppance at the narrator’s hands, or an innocent child being stalked or harassed by some stereotypical creeper (see number 3). The author will of course rescue the poor widdle hewpwess child from certain molestation.

2: Names, dates and locations are vaguely defined or never revealed at all. Note that this isn’t always an indicator of a bullshit sob story, but if the author is unwilling to divulge further information, or further research yields negative or even contradictory results, it’s probably bullshit.

3: Antagonists involved are paper-thin stereotypes: fat fedora-topped neckbeard nerds, grumpy Muslims with big turbans and beards, sneering fundie Christian professors, collar-poppin’ dudebros… basically the tumblr equivalent of “I once caught a fish that was THIS BIG, no foolin’ man”.

4: All spoken dialogue by the protagonist consists of perfect one-liners to whatever stereotypical line the antagonist says, which the author totally didn’t think up while in the shower hours later after the event that never happened. If the antagonist decides to get physical, they will always deliver one perfect punch that puts their aggressor in a coma and certainly wouldn’t get the author arrested at all.

5: Speaking of the police, if any authority figures are involved, they will either A: ignore the author’s pleas for help to satisfy the author’s “FUCK DA POPO” mentality, or B: congratulate the author for administering vigilante justice, just short of offering them the key to the city.

6: If the event is happening in a crowded area (which they often are), they will receive a standing ovation from the onlooking crowd. Random passersby might even offer gifts, which the author will of course refuse.

7: Bonus points if the story involves meeting celebrities, characters who are handicapped/PoC, and any instances of the author getting laid.

Well, Season 3 of Legend of Korra has ended… (spoilers ahead)

…and I have to say, I’m really looking forward to the next season. What wonders await us in season 4?

For one thing, I hope we get more character development from Mako. He’s seemed like kind of a static character these last two seasons thus far, which is a shame because he was one of my favorite characters. I always saw him as trying to be both a father figure, big brother and best friend to Bolin in the first season, and struggled between those three roles throughout their time together. But now that Bolin has started growing into his own man- becoming a mover star, getting a new girlfriend and mastering lava-bending- Mako just seems to have been stagnating all the while; not really doing much to make himself stand out. He did get a few good moments, like his time with his grandmother and that sick lightning-bending he did to take out Ming-Hua (although really Mako, you couldn’t have opened up with that before?), but altogether he just seemed to blend in with the background.

Also, I have to say it’s pretty impressive how much physical and mental damage Korra has sustained over the entire show without her dying or completely breaking down. The writers have done a great job in that department- traumatic events in fiction are not easy to handle, and can easily turn a good show into a total narm-fest or just painful to watch. I look forward to seeing how Korra recovers from her latest fight now confined to a wheelchair (temporarily, I hope).

Speaking of that fight, there were a couple things I was anticipating to happen, but didn’t. Whether or not that’s a good thing, I’ll let you decide:

1: When Korra was struggling against the poison in the last episode, desperately trying not to enter the Avatar State and die, some part of me was wondering if Korra was going to force herself not to go into the Avatar state and simply die in her normal form, so that the Avatar cycle of reincarnation would continue with her death. A huge risk of course, both for Korra and the creators of LOK, as the killing of a main character would have been extremely controversial. 

2: When Zaheer was defeated and Korra was at the brink of death from the poison, the moment they said “The poison is metal-based, you could bend it out of her body!” I was fully anticipating Bolin to step in and help draw the poison out, finally gaining the focus needed to metal-bend through the fear of losing one of his best friends and former love interest. I was sort of disappointed that that hadn’t happened, but upon reflection I suppose Bolin at this point has accepted that he’s never going to be able to metal-bend, and wouldn’t want to risk killing Korra due to his inability. Besides, he’s already gotten the basics of lava-bending down pat.

With that said, I was both disappointed but also somewhat glad that neither of those things happened, and not just because it would have made an already tragic ending more tragic. I’m a huge animation nerd and after having watched loads of cartoons and animated films, I’ve become more and more aware of various tropes and cliches that often pop up in animation as well as live-action. Often times the outcome of a conflict can be predictable to the point of being boring, so it’s a semi-rare treat to be on the edge of my seat wondering what’s going to happen next. So kudos to the writers again for accomplishing that.

Well, here’s to season 4! You can’t see it, but I’m holding up a drink right now.

How Zoophilia Works:

When I think about ewes I touch myself

So I was playing Dishonored and taking screenshots of all the masks at Lady Boyle’s party. I was just gonna save them for future reference when suddenly I took this really nice one completely by accident:

Oh hello, new desktop wallpaper! So I was playing Dishonored and taking screenshots of all the masks at Lady Boyle’s party. I was just gonna save them for future reference when suddenly I took this really nice one completely by accident:

Oh hello, new desktop wallpaper! So I was playing Dishonored and taking screenshots of all the masks at Lady Boyle’s party. I was just gonna save them for future reference when suddenly I took this really nice one completely by accident:

Oh hello, new desktop wallpaper! So I was playing Dishonored and taking screenshots of all the masks at Lady Boyle’s party. I was just gonna save them for future reference when suddenly I took this really nice one completely by accident:

Oh hello, new desktop wallpaper! So I was playing Dishonored and taking screenshots of all the masks at Lady Boyle’s party. I was just gonna save them for future reference when suddenly I took this really nice one completely by accident:

Oh hello, new desktop wallpaper! So I was playing Dishonored and taking screenshots of all the masks at Lady Boyle’s party. I was just gonna save them for future reference when suddenly I took this really nice one completely by accident:

Oh hello, new desktop wallpaper! So I was playing Dishonored and taking screenshots of all the masks at Lady Boyle’s party. I was just gonna save them for future reference when suddenly I took this really nice one completely by accident:

Oh hello, new desktop wallpaper!

So I was playing Dishonored and taking screenshots of all the masks at Lady Boyle’s party. I was just gonna save them for future reference when suddenly I took this really nice one completely by accident:

Oh hello, new desktop wallpaper!

bogleech:

omny87:

Doctor Phleboto

Bogleech’s syringe-headed doctor from his excellent interactive comic Awful Hospital.

when I came home and my tag had new stuff I thought it’d be more people telling me to drop dead but instead it was this great creepy drawing and I love the fingers you gave him as well as the more correct syringe I’m usually too lazy to depict

Oh, thank you! I just added the extra bits on his head as a bit of artistic license. I figured since the Noisy Tenant Hospital is full of old and obsolete junk (like everything else in the Noisy Tenant universe) a more “vintage” syringe would suit him well.

Plus it bugged me how you never draw the plunger inside his head, but then again it’d probably work just fine without one, seeing as how everything else in the Hospital tends to be a hollow shell that just works because it barely looks like something that should work.

Y’know, I really don’t understand all the “fuck white people/cisscum” attitudes floating around tumblr. I mean, it doesn’t really OFFEND me at all, don’t get me wrong, it just seems like a poor way to conduct yourself as a self proclaimed warrior of social justice. Yeah of course whites/straights/cisgenders may not be as oppressed as others by a longshot, but I don’t recall Martin Luther King, Jr. ever ending his speeches with “also, fuck white people”.

And I know a lot of people are going to say “it’s a joke! Of COURSE I don’t REALLY want all men to go die in a fire!” Yeah that’s all well and good, but maybe you should focus less on trying to one-up your online peers with who can come up with the wittiest post and more on, y’know, actual activism? Like, stuff that can actually make some tangible difference in reality? Jokes are funny, yeah, but you trying to be an activist or a clown?

Earlier today I was feeling hungry, and thought to myself “I’m so hungry I could eat a billion tacos”. Then I got to thinking: how much would a billion tacos be?

  • If I were to purchase, say, one billion Taco Bell .99-cent soft tacos, that would cost me $990,000,000 without tax.
  • Assuming a single taco weights about half a pound, my pile of tacos would weigh 250,000 tons.
  • Laid end-to-end they would stretch 7,891.41 miles (12,700 kilometers), almost enough to encircle the Earth.
  • If it took me two minutes to unwrap and eat one taco, it would take me over 3,800 years to finish them all if I did that and nothing else.
  • One soft taco contains 200 calories, meaning 1 billion tacos contains 200 billion calories. The average human needs about 2000 calories a day to survive, so I could feed one hundred million people for a day if I gave each of them 10 tacos.
  • Speaking of calories, 200 billion calories is about 836,800,000,000 joules of energy, over eight times the power of the Saturn V rocket launch (which was a mere 100,000,000,000 joules).

In conclusion: if I had a billion tacos, I could launch myself into space.

A drawing of my brother’s horse from one of his games in the tabletop RPG “Savage Worlds”. His character, being poor, had to settle for a cheap horse and ended up with an ugly, obese, easily-frightened one he simply named “Horse”. Near the end of his character’s life, Horse got branded by the Devil himself and was granted firey demon speed. He was still fat, ugly and cowardly though.

I’ve heard so many “nice legs daisy dukes” parodies that I don’t know how they make a man go anymore

Pfft, women. Always peeling their flesh away to reveal a chitinous exoskeleton underneath am I right guys?